Beck + Winston

Soy Un Perdedor…Not

Back in March I participated in two contests. First was a storytelling contest, part of the L.A. Scripted Comedy Festival. My story about the time I inadvertently hired a hooker to show me around Prague was well-received; however, I didn’t win. First and second-place winners were chosen by audience applause. I knew when they introduced one woman that she would win. Clearly she packed that room. Her story was good and she did a god job conveying it, but it was not the best performance of the evening. As happy as I was with the job I did, I wouldn’t have given myself first place either. A woman named Stephanie, who I had never seen nor met before, killed it. Her story had humor, surprises, and sadness told through a comic prism. She should have won first place. I should have won second. 🙂

The next day I was in a Toastmasters International Speech contest. What’s an international speech? Damned if I know. The speeches were a mixed bag. Most tried to inspire. Some succeeded to varying extents; some were corny and clichéd. My speech was original, inspiring and filled with humor. Every joke hit, some harder than anticipated. When I rehearsed the speech at home, it clocked in at just over five minutes. Per contest rules, a contestant’s speech cannot go over seven minutes thirty seconds. Mine came in at seven minutes thirty-one seconds. Though anybody in attendance, including the other contestants, would tell you I did the best job, I was disqualified due that one second.

Did that make me a loser? I went over my time limit because I got plenty of laughs. I inspired people. I know I worked the stage beautifully and delivered a strong speech. I didn’t win the contest? So what. Toastmasters may think that the most important aspect of a speech is its duration and that one second over means you don’t qualify. I think what’s most important is speaking with passion, getting your audience to laugh and think, using vocal variety and body language, and giving a performance that is at once a show and yet grounded and relatable. Screw that one-second over rule. I won that contest.

Not getting first place at either contest didn’t negatively impact me. I wanted to put “First Place Winner” on my resume as a marketing tool for myself, but not having that doesn’t change anything. I’m still good at what I do.

Beck + Winston
In 1993, when Beck’s friend asked the singer to come by and record something with another friend who made hip-hop beats, Beck agreed and came up with a rap. When his friend played back the tape, Beck thought “Man, I’m the worst rapper in the world – I’m just a loser.” From there he composed a chorus for his song. “I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me.”

That song, “Loser,” became a smash for Beck, who has since recorded many acclaimed albums, culminating in a win for Album of the Year at the Grammy Awards earlier in 2015.

I may have lost those contests, but my winning moment is coming. I’m a driver. I’m a winner. Things are gonna change. I can feel it.

Today Beck turns 45. Here are twenty career highlights.


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81

The Story Of Ringo

Folks – I’d like to call your attention to something that will make you look better. Something that will make you feel better. Something that will reduce your stress and bring love into your life.

81
A doggie.

Doggies keep you fit. A 2008 study published in Preventive Medicine magazine revealed that people who walk their dogs every day are almost 25% less likely to be obese than folks without dogs. In addition, dog walking lowers blood pressure and is a great way to get a tan.

A study by Psychosomatic Medicine journal reported that pet ownership reduces stress. They performed the same stress tests on pet owners and non-pet owners. The pet owners consistently had a lower heart rate than the non-pet owners.

If I were to tell you that I’m 62 years old, you’d be shocked, right? Right? My dog keeps me youthful. It’s the regular exercise. It’s the reduced stress. It’s the never being alone. My youthfulness is not due solely to my dog. I don’t look 62 because I drink a lot of water, I get enough sleep, and I’m not 62.

One may argue “They bark too much.” A dog’s barking is not necessarily a bad thing. Dogs can detect low blood sugar in their master and will bark for help if his master is having a diabetic attack.

A dog may bark to alert its owner to danger. One time a neighbor I didn’t know very well told me he locked himself out of his condo and a friend was on his way over with a spare key; could he hang out in my condo while waiting? I said okay. My dog, who seldom barks, made it known he disagreed with my answer. A couple of months later, this neighbor was taken out of the building in handcuffs by a SWAT team. Three and a half years later, he’s still in prison. Dogs know.

“Dogs are too much work.” Boyfriends/Girlfriends/Spouses are a lot of work. Babies are a lot of work. Put a little work into your dog and he’ll be loyal to you for life. Your dog won’t fall out of love with you, like your ex-boyfriend or your mother. As for babies, the journal Pediatrics reported that babies who live in a home with a dog are less likely to get sick – fewer coughs, runny noses and ear infections – than babies who grow up in a home without a pet, presumably because the germs the dogs track in boost the child’s immune system.

“They’ll cramp my social life.” Au contraire, mon frère. Dogs give their owners not just the gift of their companionship, but of human interactions as well.

A few years ago I was walking my dog along Santa Monica Blvd. and a man with an accent like Sophia Vergara’s and a face just as beautiful started gushing over him. Normally I cannot work up the courage to start conversation with an attractive man, but my dog paved the way.

“Where are you from?”, I asked.

“New Jersey,” he answered, in his Sophia Vergara accent.

“I mean, where are from originally? Where were you born?”

“New Jersey.”

“That explains the accent.”

This gorgeous creature from the exotic land of New Jersey became my boyfriend. Walk your dog – get a tan and a man. Did I mention he was a model? Thank dog!

I wasn’t always pro-dog. When I was twelve years old a German Shepherd jumped over the fence into our backyard and bit into my leg, deep enough that I was taken to the hospital. I didn’t like dogs after that. I was scared of them.

About six years ago I was laying by the pool in my condo complex. Nobody else was around. A dog who lived in one of the units that opened to the pool area ran out, grabbed my water bottle in his mouth and ran around the pool. He just wanted to play. He was lonely. So was I. He looked so cute with my bottle in his mouth, wanting some attention.

A few months later, the deli next door became a pet shop. Every day when I turned the corner I’d see the daycare dogs in the window – running around in a large open space, being happy, loving life.

Uncle!

I came around. I went to a dog rescue shelter where I met Cooper. He was malnourished – just six pounds – and all his fur had been shaved as he was completely knotted when they found him on the street. He had been abandoned by his previous owner. They brought him over to meet me. He sat next to me and shook for approximately twenty minutes. He was scared of every living thing. I considered taking him home. I would rename him Ringo, after the drummer of my favorite band, The Beatles’ Ringo Starr. Cooper was his old life – mistreated, neglected. The name Ringo would commemorate the start of his new life.

While I was at the shelter, a woman came in to drop off a dog named Winston. She said her family could no longer take care of the dog – I don’t remember why – but he was a good dog and I should consider adopting him. I took both Winston and Cooper for a walk, trying to decide which one to take home. It was a tough decision.

On that day, December 22, 2010, I adopted two dogs. Both needed homes. Besides, Winston was the middle name of John Lennon, so Winston and Ringo belonged together.

Here’s a sobering statistic: only one in four dogs finds a permanent, loving home. More than eight million dogs and cats are destroyed each year.

Folks, you can probably find room in your home for a rescue dog. See if you can find room in your heart. Save two lives – the dog’s…and yours.

Ringos 2014-07-07 11.01Ringo, my star

Today, my older doggie’s namesake celebrates his 75th birthday. Here are twenty great Ringo Starr moments.

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A Hint Of Mint Vol. 10: Disco (1974-1980)

Disco music was born in the early seventies in black, Hispanic and gay clubs. It really permeated the mainstream in 1977 with the release of the film Saturday Night Fever, whose soundtrack album became the biggest-selling album of all time in the United States.

As disco became a major commercial force, rockers, including The Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart and Kiss, turned to the genre to score some of the biggest hits of their careers.

In 1979, a Chicago rock radio station hosted an anti-disco demonstration at Comiskey Park. Tens of thousands of people brought disco records that were set ablaze while the crowd chanted “disco sucks.” I’d posit that anti-gay and anti-black sentiments played a part in the anti-disco movement.

After the Comiskey Park demonstration, disco retreated from the mainstream in the U.S. but remained popular in the U.K., Europe, and elsewhere in the world as well as in gay clubs stateside, evolving into house music and hi-nrg.

Despite the efforts of some folks, disco, while suffering some setbacks, didn’t die. Its influence can be heard on the pop charts today.

Similarly, despite the efforts of some folks, the LGB and T populations, while suffering some setbacks, continue to make great strides toward equality.

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“Lean On Me” – Bill Withers

In 1967 Bill Withers moved to Los Angeles to try to make it as a songwriter. While pursuing this dream he worked at Lockheed Aircraft, making around $3.50/hour. He spent $2500 of his own money to record some demo tracks. Not one record company or publisher expressed interest.

While working at a factory making toilet seats for 747s, he formed friendships with his co-workers and appreciated how they would help each other out. The mutual support this group of workers offered inspired him to compose a song. He titled it “Lean on Me.”

His upbringing played a large part in the song’s sentiment. “Being from a rural, West Virginia setting, that kind of circumstance would be more accessible to me than it would be to a guy living in New York where people step over you if you’re passed out on the sidewalk, or Los Angeles, where you could die on the side of the freeway and it would probably be 8 days before anyone noticed you were dead. Coming from a place where people were a little more attentive to each other, less afraid, that would cue me to have those considerations.”

He recorded the track for his album Still Bill. The single went to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in July 1972. He left his factory job, but retained a good perspective, telling the L.A. Times: “Even when I was working on bathroom seats, this was at least constructive. I challenge anybody: I won’t sing for a month and you don’t go to the bathroom for a month and let’s see who comes off with less misery.”

“Lean On Me” won Withers a Grammy award for Best R&B Song … in 1987. On March 21 of that year Club Nouveau took their rendition of the song to #1, only the fifth time in the rock era that two different versions of the same song hit #1. (The first four? “Go Away Little Girl” – Steve Lawrence/Donny Osmond, “The Loco-Motion” – Little Eva/Grand Funk, “Please Mr. Postman” – The Marvelettes/The Carpenters, and “Venus” – The Shocking Blue/Bananarama.)

Bill Withers turns 77 years old today. Being he is an American institution, federal offices and banks are closed today. Many parts of the country are celebrating his birthday with fireworks displays, as they should. Here are twenty Withers tracks worth hearing, starting with the classic “Lean on Me.”


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Erasure + Winston 1

It’s Vince Clarke’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

Erasure + Winston 1
As a member of Depeche Mode, Vince Clarke made one album. As one-half of the duo Yaz (Yazoo outside the US), Vince Clarke made two albums. As one-half of Erasure, Vince Clarke has made more albums than he did with both of his prior bands put together!

About his Yaz partner Alison Moyet, Vince said “I don’t think we could have continued working together without probably strangling each other.”

About his Erasure partner Andy Bell, Vince said “In him I’ve found somebody that I feel incredibly comfortable with, who I could have married.”

Vince also said “I’m a terrible dancer.”

Well, I’m not a terrible dancer and today is Friday, which is dance day at Tunes du Jour. Vince Clarke turns 55 today, so let’s celebrate the birthday of this self-proclaimed terrible dancer with twenty of his biggest dance hits, kicking off with “A Little Respect,” because dammit, I’d like some of that right about now!


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Blondie + Ringo

The Magic Of Blondie

“Lost inside adorable illusion and I cannot hide”

The first Broadway show I ever saw was The Magic Show, a musical with lyrics and music written by Stephen Schwartz, no relation to me, but a relation to some other Schwartzes, I assume.

My parents took me to the show for my eleventh birthday. I recall I was wearing green corduroy pants, a white turtleneck, and a New York Jets jacket. Or New Jersey Jets. No, I think they were from New York. They were a football team. Maybe they still are. I digress.

Magic was one of my main hobbies at that age, along with coin collecting and rock polishing. It was around that birthday that music overtook all other interests of mine.

At one point during The Magic Show, its star, Doug Henning, asked for a volunteer from the audience. I raised my hand. Henning pointed to me and asked me to come on to the stage. My job was to check that the chains that went around a trunk from which Henning was going to escape while inside a sealed sack were sturdy and locked. Who better to check their strength than a 67-pound boy in a New York Jets jacket? Or New Jersey. No, I’m pretty sure New York.

I checked the chains and gave the thumbs up for the trick to begin. Somehow, Henning escaped from the sack in the trunk and from the trunk itself! I was standing right next to the trunk. I could tell you how the trick was done, had I been paying attention. I was too caught up in the sets. My interest in magic instantly waned while my interest in performing rose.

What happens to a child after he makes his Broadway debut at age 11? Some end up depressed alcoholics who spend their rest of their days trying to recapture the magic but they can’t because they are no longer cute or bankable and their stage parents oh their stage parents alienated the artistic community and they have no option but to turn tricks for cash which is spent on drugs or would be spent on drugs except nobody wants to hire the porcine past-his-prime actor. Nobody except those who fetishize former “stars” and I put stars in quotes because come on, get real.

That’s not what happened to me. I became a stand-up comedian with a large record collection.

Blondie + Ringo
In my record collection one will find Blondie’s “Heart of Glass,” from which the lyric that opens this post is taken. The song was written by band members Debbie Harry and Chris Stein and had the working title of “The Disco Song.” Drummer Clem Burke said his part was inspired by the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive.”

Said Harry “When we did ‘Heart of Glass’ it wasn’t too cool in our social set to play disco. But we did it because we wanted to be uncool,” with the band’s keyboardist Jimmy Destri adding “We used to do ‘Heart of Glass’ to upset people.”

The song was included on Blondie’s Parallel Lines LP “as a novelty item to put more diversity into the album,” per Stein. The novelty song became the group’s first charted single and first #1, in 1979. Its success prompted John Lennon to send Ringo Starr a postcard advising to write songs like “Heart of Glass.”

Today Debbie Harry celebrates her 70th birthday. Here are twenty of her finest moments.


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