Thirty of 2011’s brightest music moments
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Inspired by the July 30 birthdays of Kate Bush, Paul Anka, Robert Clivilles, White Town, Frank Stallone, Sleeper’s Louise Wener, and Seth Avett; and the July 29 birthdays of Danger Mouse, Rush’s Geddy Lee, Gonzalez’s Lenny Zakatek and Onyx’s Big DS.
My favorite song of 2019 came out in 2016. Like most people, I slept on Lizzo’s “Good as Hell” upon its initial release three years ago. I also slept on her “Truth Hurts,” my #4 song of 2019, when it was released in 2017. Lizzo’s first track to make Glenn’s Ten was “Boys,” which hit #1 in July 2018, just two months before my favorite 2019 artist after Lizzo, Billie Eilish, made her Glenn’s Ten debut with “You Should See Me in a Crown.” Eilish’s “Bad Guy” is my #3 song of this year, breaking up Lizzo’s hold on the top four. L-to-the-izzo’s “Juice,” my #2 song of 2019, debuted on Glenn’s Ten on January 12, kicking off 49 consecutive weeks with at least one Lizzo track in my top ten, 22 of those weeks at #1. I’m sure both of those are records, something I would confirm if I weren’t too lazy to look it up.
At #5 for the year sits the only artist in my year end top ten who made their Glenn’s Ten debut in 2019, Megan Thee Stallion. (Megan’s her real first name; Thee is not her actual middle name and Stallion is not on her birth certificate. I’m a Megan Thee Stallion truther.) On that hit, “Hot Girl Summer,” Megan T. Stallion is assisted by Nicki Minaj, who is also at #55 with a solo number, and Ty Dolla $ign (Ty is short for Tyrone, his real first name; Dolla is not his actual middle name and $ign is not on his birth certificate. I’m a Ty Dolla $ign truther.), who is also at #100 assisting Kehlani. If you need assistance, call Ty D. $ign.
The remainder of the top ten boasts career bests for 21 Savage, Ariana Grande, Teyana Taylor, and Vince Staples, plus the first Glenn’s Ten entry for Vampire Weekend since 2013. Other Glenn’s Ten veterans making appearances this year include Bruce Springsteen, Liz Phair, Beck, Missy Elliott, Morrissey, Beyoncé, Rufus Wainwright, Smokey Robinson (yes, Smokey Robinson!), and Belle & Sebastian. Recent favorites such as Courtney Barnett, Cardi B, Grimes, Christine and the Queens, Robyn, Miranda Lambert, 21 Savage, BROCKHAMPTON, First Aid Kit, Chance the Rapper, Angel Olsen, The National and Kacey Musgraves are represented as well.
Enough blather. Here is my top 105 songs (5 by Lizzo, 100 by others, though one of those others with an assist from Lizzo) of 2019:
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About Bill Cosby, rapper A$AP Rocky recently said, “He did so much positive things leading up to one thing, which he was convicted of being innocent for, by the way.” First off, it’s so many positive things, not so much. Secondly, it’s for which he was convicted of being innocent. Thirdly, one gets convicted of being innocent? No wonder our nation’s jails are overcrowded. Go on, $AP. “All you remember is the 56 woman and all that kind of shit.” Yes, all that kind of serial rapist shit. Nobody remembers he introduced the world to Fat Albert and Raven Symone. Just rape rape rape and more rape. Oh, sorry. I interrupted this genius again. Back to you A$$. “I’m not his lawyer, but I do know he’s innocent.” And even if he is guilty, “All we know is that he was accused, he allegedly raped however many woman he raped, which, you got, it’s so much issues in the world, you know I’m saying?” I know what you’re saying! There are so many issues in the world, so why spend any time on one of the issues in the world, that being the issue of crime?
I expected better from the guy who rapped “I be fuckin’ broads like I be fuckin’ bored / Turn a dyke bitch out have her fuckin’ boys, beast” and “I swear that bitch Rita Ora got a big mouth/ Next time I see her might curse the bitch out/ Kicked the bitch out once cause she bitched out/ Spit my kids out, jizzed up all in her mouth and made the bitch bounce.” It turns out he’s not as intelligent, articulate and thoughtful as those lyrics make him out to be.
The only time I ever bought the “clean” version over the “explicit” version of a song is when I got A$AP Rocky’s “F**kin’ Problems,” from which the dyke bitch lyric is taken. The beat is great, but the lyrics are so over-the-top misogynist, and that’s saying a lot for a genre in which far too many lyrics are extremely misogynist.
Rocky is a talented guy, albeit one with a vile attitude toward women. Usually I can separate the person from the art. I love the movie Chinatown, even though its director, Roman Polanski, pled guilty to statutory rape. I love the Ronettes’ “Be My Baby” and the Righteous Brothers’ “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling,” even though the producer of those records, Phil Spector, is presently serving time for second degree murder. I love Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” even though he’s Robin Thicke. I don’t know what I’ll do if Chris Brown ever releases a halfway decent song. Good things the odds of that ever happening are mighty slim.
I’m not defending these artists. Being a monster and being talented are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes I can listen to or watch the art and not think about the crimes allegedly committed. Is that wrong? If it is, that’s my f**kin’ problem.
CeeLo Green gave us the great “Fuck You” in 2010. In 2012, Green was accused by a woman of drugging and sexually assaulting her. CeeLo’s attorney said the sex was consensual, with the singer tweeting “If someone is passed out they’re not even WITH you consciously, so WITH Implies consent. People who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!” Fuck you.
I still listen to Green’s “Fuck You,” but I don’t set out to listen to his newer music. In part it’s because of his attitude. Even if he didn’t drug and or rape this woman, I read his tweets about rape and think “Does that make him crazy? Probably.” To be honest, I also don’t listen to his newer music because it sucks. Everything the man has done since “Fuck You” is pretty bad. Did you hear his song “Robin Williams” from last year? It’s shit. I’m not saying I’m glad he died, but the actor is lucky he never had to hear it.
So I’ll listen to “Fuck You” and I’ll listen to “Crazy,” the worldwide smash he had as one-half of Gnarls Barkley. The other half of the duo, Brian Burton, professionally known as Danger Mouse,” celebrates his 39th birthday today. Tunes du Jour kicks off its weekly dance party with Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.” Will I be celebrating when CeeLo’s birthday comes around? Maybe by singing “Fuck You.”
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Every December the Salvation Army mails me at least a half-dozen solicitations for a financial donation. Every year I write on the envelopes “RETURN TO SENDER. I DON’T CONDONE BIGOTRY,” and yet they continue to ask for my money.
Perhaps you’ve heard that the Salvation Army has a history of homophobia. Google “Salvation Army homophobia” and read about people allegedly turned away by the charity due to their perceived sexual orientation or gender identity, people allegedly fired from the organization for their sexual orientation, efforts made by the Army to keep LGBT people from having the same rights as their non-LGBT neighbors, allegations of a hostile work environment, their efforts to not be subject to anti-discrimination laws, and bell-ringers refusing donations from people who support LGBT equality. Their explanation has been that they’re a Christian organization, and you know what the Bible says about charity and thy neighbor and minorities in the workplace.
On the surface, the organization appears to have tempered some of their views about LGBT citizens over time. However, there are many organizations that help people in need who have no public record that needs defending. My charitable donations go to them.
So why am I bringing up the Salvation Army today? It’s not because I’m doing my holiday shopping now. Hanukkah doesn’t begin until early December; therefore, Hanukkah shopping doesn’t begin until mid-December.
Today is Jack White’s fortieth birthday. When he was a child he thought the Salvation Army was called the Seven Nation Army. As an adult, he used “Seven Nation Army” as a song title for his duo The White Stripes.
Here are twenty of Jack White’s finest moments.
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I met Jack White of The White Stripes, The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather at a barbecue a few years ago. He thought it was cool that I worked at Rhino Entertainment. He sold Rhino’s records at the store he had before his career as a musician took off. I told him I’d put together a care package of some Rhino releases for him. He told me he’d feel bad getting them for free. I told him it was fine and a few days later sent to him via his manager a package with a blues box set, the DVD of The Rutles’ made-for-television film All You Need Is Cash and a compilation entitled ‘70s Party Killers that included The Captain & Tennille, Starland Vocal Band and Dawn featuring Tony Orlando, among others. I don’t know if the package ever made it to him. Maybe the manager kept it for himself. Maybe the postal carrier stole it. Who wouldn’t want to own a compilation that featured “Muskrat Love,” “Afternoon Delight” and “Tie a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Ole Oak Tree?” Those are the songs I think of when I think of Jack White. I mean that as a high compliment.
Today the tenth child of Teresa and Gorman Gillis, born John Anthony Gillis, turns 39 years old. As was the case with Beck yesterday and Ringo Starr the day before, the White Stripes offerings on Spotify are pretty slim. Nonetheless, I was able to cobble together this playlist of ten fine Jack White performances. I only hope that someday he covers “Muskrat Love.”
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