Tag Archives: Robyn

It’s National Cell Phone Courtesy Month And I Need To Dance!

July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month. Seriously. I didn’t make that up.

The fact that we need a National Cell Phone Courtesy Month says a lot about our country. Cell phones are ubiquitous. People are self-centered sphincters. You need to be courteous for only one month per year.

We use cell phones to text people we don’t feel like talking to. We use them to show the world what food looks like. We use them to film police officers murdering unarmed black citizens. Sometimes we use them as phones. Naomi Campbell has been known to use hers as a weapon.

Here are some cell phone courtesy tips:
Don’t use your cell phone during business meetings! Those meetings are set by executives who need their egos stroked by having people gather in a room to hear them bloviate and accomplish nothing. How can they adequately waste your time if you’re getting things done on your cell phone? That’s cheating. Put the phone away, unless you’re one of the senior execs who need the ego stroking. Then by all means check your phone while people sit in the conference room waiting for the meeting to be over. They already think you’re rude, so why not take that as far as you can? Sphincter!

Reply to your text messages promptly! Don’t keep someone in suspense who needs to know what you think of their alleged witticism. Send an emoji. They’ll probably then respond with a different emoji, meaning you’ll have to answer that as well. Next thing you know, the whole day is shot, you got nothing done, but the insecure person who initiated the text conversation feels a little bit better about themselves, so it’s all worth it. If you’re at a meeting when a text message comes in, don’t respond right away! Wait until the egomaniacal sphincter who called the meeting isn’t looking at you, which will be most of the meeting as his only concern is the sound of his own voice. Hold your phone under the table and reply. That works every time.

Don’t use your phone while on a date! That is so rude! Someone is taking the time to get to know you and try to enjoy a meal with you. Not paying attention to them demonstrates your complete lack of manners. There are exceptions to this rule. If the person bores you to tears, text your best friend and tell him to call you with a made-up emergency. If your best friend doesn’t reply promptly (rude!) and your date is droning on and on about how “all lives matter” or how great the band Chicago is, break the monotony of his or her blather by photographing your food and showing the pic to your date. He or she will be astonished at how much the food in the photo looks like the food on the table in front of him or her, and for a moment, will cease his or her otherwise endless babble. If that doesn’t work, just run out of the restaurant. What do you care? You have no intention of seeing him/her again anyway. Don’t forget to block them on your phone so they can’t text or call you again.

Set your phone to silent or vibrate while in a movie theater, a Broadway show, or a house of worship on your wedding day. Do the same thing if you die. It’s so awkward to be at a funeral and hear “Thong Song” emanate from the deceased. Mourners won’t know if it’s okay to laugh, and that song will be stuck in everyone’s head for the rest of the day, just like it will be stuck in yours for the next few hours. That thong-th-thong-thong-thong.

Don’t be staring at your cellular device while walking on a crowded sidewalk or while in a shopping mall with a large fountain. I take that back. Stare at it in the mall. I can never get enough of that video of that woman who fell into the mall fountain while staring at her device. Remember her? Then she sued the mall! LOL! If you see someone at the mall who is so busy staring at their device that they’re about to fall into the fountain, PLEASE, take out your phone and film it! Post it on the Internet. Humiliate them so they learn proper cell phone etiquette, but only do so if it is July.

I hope these tips help you avoid being a complete sphincter while out in public.

Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour. Our weekly dance party kicks off with the Lady Gaga/Beyoncé collaboration, “Telephone.”


Click here to like Tunes du Jour on Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour
Follow me on Instagram: @GlennSchwartz

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

It’s Alison Goldfrapp’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

Translated literally, the French expression “ooh la la” means “Oh there there.”

Per About.com, “ooh la la” is an interjection that “can indicate surprise, disappointment, commiseration, distress, annoyance… any moderately strong reaction to something that was just said or done. Note that there is no connotation of sexiness or impropriety in French.”

Per UrbanDictionary.com, “ooh la la” is “a universally understood way of saying ‘check out that hot piece of ass.’” I detect a slight connotation of sexiness and impropriety.

Per OxfordDictionaries.com, “ooh la la” is “used to express surprise or excitement” or “to convey a sexual innuendo.”

The music duo Goldfrapp, made up of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, released a single called “Ooh La La” in 2005. Written by the duo, the song tells of Alison’s lust for someone without a romantic component.

Goldfrapp’s “Ooh La La” became their first top ten pop single in the UK and their third #1 on the US dance chart. It was nominated for a Grammy Award for Best Dance Recording, and Rolling Stone magazine placed it at #10 on their list of the year’s best singles.

Today, Alison Goldfrapp turns 50 years old. Tunes du Jour’s weekly dance party is heavy on her group’s music, kicking off with “Ooh La La.”


Click here to like Tunes du Jour on Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

It’s Max Martin’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

As a songwriter, Max Martin has a credit on 21 number one singles on Billboard‘s Hot 100 chart. Only Paul McCartney and John Lennon have more. He has had 60 top tens as a writer. On top of that, he has had a hand in producing a slew of hits. Some of them are good.

Today, Max Martin turns 45 years old. Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour. Our playlist consists of twenty songs Max Martin had a hand in writing and/or producing. Some of them are good.


Click here to like Tunes du Jour on Facebook.
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

The Grammys Are Coming And I Need To Dance!

Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour. Today’s playlist includes the five recordings nominated for a Grammy Award in the category Best Dance Recording. Those nominated recordings are:

“We’re All We Need” – Above & Beyond Featuring Zoë Johnston
“Go” – The Chemical Brothers Featuring Q-Tip
“Never Catch Me” – Flying Lotus Featuring Kendrick Lamar
“Runaway (U & I)” – Galantis
“Where Are Ü Now” – Skrillex And Diplo With Justin Bieber

The Best Dance Recording category was introduced in 1998. It hasn’t been the most accurate barometer of innovations in dance music. The nominating committee has a thing for Gloria Estefan, who was well past her prime in 1998, as she was in 1999, when she was nominated, and 2000, when she was nominated, and 2002, when she was nominated.

In 2001, the Grammy for Best Dance Recording was awarded to “Who Let the Dogs Out?” by the Baha Men. I admit that I love that song, but Best Dance Recording? What the fur? Other tracks nominated that year were performed by Jennifer Lopez, Enrique Iglesias and Eiffel 65, which suggests that 2000 was a very bad year for dance music. It was not. The fifth nominee, Moby’s “Natural Blues,” is the kind of record that should win. It sets itself apart from the other recordings in this field. Of course, one could say “Who Let the Dogs Out?” is unlike the other dance recordings of 2000, mostly because it is not a dance recording.

There are no embarrassing nominees this year in this category. Tune in Monday evening to see who wins. Actually, this may not be one of the four or so awards presented in the telecast, so you may have to find out who won online.

For now, enjoy this playlist consisting of this year’s nominees plus fifteen of the better recordings nominated in this category in past years.


Click here to like Tunes du Jour on Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

My Top 99 Songs Of 2015

Herewith, my 99 favorite tracks of this year:

1. Can’t Feel My Face – The Weeknd
2. Sugah Daddy – D’Angelo & the Vanguard
3. Peanut Butter Jelly – Galantis
4. Downtown – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Kool Moe Dee & Grandmaster Kaz
5. Fuck It All – Elle Varner
6. Therapy – Mary J. Blige
7. Coffee (Fucking) – Miguel
8. What Do You Mean? – Justin Bieber
9. Close Your Eyes (And Count to Fuck) – Run the Jewels featuring Zack De La Rocha
10. Hello – Adele
11. Only One – Kanye West featuring Paul McCartney
12. Depreston – Courtney Barnett
13. On the Regular – Shamir
14. Lampshades on Fire – Modest Mouse
15. Shine – Years & Years
16. Hotline Bling – Drake
17. Truffle Butter – Nicki Minaj featuring Drake and Lil Wayne
18. The Blacker the Berry – Kendrick Lamar
19. Dead Fox – Courtney Barnett
20. The Ground Walks, with Time in a Box – Modest Mouse
21. Uptown Funk – Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars
22. FourFiveSeconds – Rihanna featuring Kanye West and Paul McCartney
23. Teenage Talk – St. Vincent
24. Alright – Kendrick Lamar
25. Who U? – Dynas featuring Slick Rick
26. Friday I’m in Love – Yo La Tengo
27. Queen – Perfume Genius
28. King Kunta – Kendrick Lamar
29. Yoga – Janelle Monae featuring Jidenna
30. Dreams – Beck
31. Return to the Moon (Political Song for Didi Bloome to Sing, with Crescendo) – EL VY
32. The Love Within – Bloc Party
33. The Night Josh Tillman Came to Our Apt. – Father John Misty
34. Huarache Lights – Hot Chip
35. Dancing in the Dark – Hot Chip
36. B.O.B. – Macy Gray
37. Break the Rules – Charli XCX
38. Ex’s & Oh’s – Elle King
39. Stay Gold – First Aid Kit
40. Cool for the Summer – Demi Lovato
41. Girl Crush – Little Big Town
42. Nobody Really Cares if You Don’t Go to the Party – Courtney Barnett
43. Little Red Wagon – Miranda Lambert
44. Cedar Lane – First Aid Kit
45. Jonathan – Christine and the Queens featuring Perfume Genius
46. Boxing Day Blues (Revisited) – Courtney Barnett
47. In for the Kill – Shamir
48. Biscuits – Kacey Musgraves
49. Can’t Get Enough of Myself – Santigold featuring BC
50. You’re So Beautiful – Empire Cast featuring Jussie Smollett
51. Ugly Cherries – PWR BTTM
52. Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey) – The Weeknd
53. Leave a Trace – CHVRCHES
54. Freedom – Pharrell Williams
55. Betray My Heart – D’Angelo & the Vanguard
56. Snakeskin – Deerhunter
57. Really Love – D’Angelo & the Vanguard
58. I Can’t Lose – Mark Ronson featuring Keyone Starr
59. Outta My Mind – the Arcs
60. Happy Idiot – TV on the Radio
61. Bad Blood – Ryan Adams
62. Nobody’s Empire – Belle & Sebastian
63. Come – Jain
64. Stonemilker – Björk
65. Holding On – Julio Bashmore featuring Sam Dew
66. Go Out – Blur
67. Weight in Gold – Gallant
68. Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins) – Father John Misty
69. Coming Home – Leon Bridges
70. All Day – Kanye West featuring Theophilus London, Allan Kingdom and Paul McCartney
71. Glory – Common and John Legend
72. Need You Now – Hot Chip
73. Sausage – Lil Mama
74. Déjà Vu – Giorgio Moroder featuring Sia
75. Alone on Christmas Day – Phoenix featuring Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzmann, Buster Poindexter and Paul Shaffer
76. Smokin’ & Drinkin’ – Miranda Lambert featuring Little Big Town
77. She’s Not Me – Jenny Lewis
78. Omen – Disclosure featuring Sam Smith
79. For Sale – Kendrick Lamar
80. NWA – Miguel featuring Kurupt
81. Times Square – Destroyer
82. I Put a Spell on You – Annie Lennox
83. 4 Degrees – ANOHNI
84. Go – The Chemical Brothers featuring Q-Tip
85. Sometimes – Heems
86. Bitch Better Have My Money – Rihanna
87. Runnin’ (Lose It All) – Naughty Boy featuring Beyoncé and Arrow Benjamin
88. Smooth Sailin’ – Leon Bridges
89. Hell – The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
90. Simple Things – Miguel
91. Shivers – Courtney Barnett
92. Tom’s Diner – Giorgio Moroder featuring Britney Spears
93. Trap Queen – Fetty Wap
94. Tell Your Friends – The Weeknd
95. L$D – A$AP Rocky
96. These Walls – Kendrick Lamar featuring Bilal, Anna Wise and Thundercat
97. Love is Free – Robyn & La Bagatelle Magique
98. Country Down – Beck
99. Better in the Morning – Little Boots


Click here to like Tunes du Jour of Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

It’s Sia’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

The Guardian described Sia’s “Chandelier” as “a warning about the pitfalls of a party lifestyle.” About the song, MTV News wrote “Sia serves party-girl darkness, toeing the line between celebration and self-destruction as it becomes increasingly more blurred.” Now sober, the singer/songwriter struggled with alcoholism in the past. She told NPR “I wrote [“Chandelier”] because there’s so many party-girl anthems in pop, and I thought it’d be interesting to do a different take on that.”

Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour. Our weekly party kicks off with “Chandelier,” co-written and performed by Sia, who turns 40 years old today.


Click here to like Tunes du Jour on Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

My Birthday Advice: Don’t!

doggies + Elvis
Today is my birthday. Over my 25+ years on earth, I’ve learned many life lessons. Most of them came from songs. My birthday gift to you is a playlist of 100 songs offering advice as to what not to do.


Click here to like TunesDuJour on Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

It’s Moby’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

On September 11 I was living in New York City, two miles from where the Twin Towers stood. I remember voting that morning, as it was Primary Election Day. I remember walking to work. I remember my boss coming in to my office to tell me the towers are falling and I should go home. I remember how crowded yet quiet the sidewalks were. I remember spending the rest of the day sitting on my bed crying. I remember thinking about dinner. I don’t know how to cook. I usually ordered in or went out. I regained some composure around 8 PM. I opened my apartment door to find the hallway full of smoke. A neighbor down the hall saw me and yelled “The building’s on fire. The fire department is here.” I went back inside. The only food I kept in my apartment was a can of soup for emergency colds. That night for dinner I had a can of soup.

I remember a lot more details about that day and the days that followed. I still cry when I think about them.

On September 12 I had dinner with my friend Jesse. As the police would not allow anyone below 14th Street who didn’t live in that area, as Jesse did, he came to my place on 16th Street. We figured we’d see if any restaurants in Chelsea were open.

Not only were almost all restaurants along Eighth Avenue open, they were packed. Music was playing. People were laughing. That may sound strange to people not there, but amidst all the horrendousness, amidst the postings of missing people that started to cover all available wall space, amidst the stench that worked its way uptown and permeated our neighborhood, people were celebrating life and friendship.

I’ll never forget what my city was like on September 11. I’ll never forget that night of September 12 either. Life is fleeting. Take advantage of being alive. Celebrate.

Every Friday Tunes du Jour celebrates life with a dance playlist. We kick off this week’s party with Moby, who turns 50 years old today.


Click here to like Tunes du Jour on Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

It’s Ana Matronic’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

“A kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves
We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve
And though the sun is rising, few may choose to leave”

It’s Friday and I need to dance, but you already know that.

I’ve always enjoyed going out clubbing, especially in the early nineties. Some Fridays and many Saturdays I’d go with whoever I was then dating or a good friend to The Roxy or The Limelight or Twilo (though Twilo may have come into being a few years into the nineties) or that club on Sixth Avenue around 15th Street whose name escapes me at the moment or that bar/club/fire hazard in the East Village or The Saint. In New York, the clubs didn’t close at 2 AM or 4 AM. They stayed open. There were times we wouldn’t leave until 8 or 9 the next morning. As that was breakfast time, we’d head for a diner (a “coffee shop” in the local parlance, before coffee shop meant a place like Starbucks) to eat before heading home to sleep. Watching people start their Sunday before we even finished our Saturday made me feel so alive. I’m here on this earth and taking advantage of it.

It’s been a long time since I stayed out all night. Though I cherish the memories, I can’t say I miss doing so. That may be because I haven’t hit upon a club that plays music I’d like to dance to for hours on end. The exception is Oil Can Harry’s, a dive in Studio City that hosts classic disco night on Saturdays. I love me some classic disco, and can stay there until closing if classic disco and post-disco 80s house was all that was played. For some reason, the DJ throws on Rihanna or other contemporary acts between midnight and 1. That’s my cue to leave. Nothing against Rihanna – she has many fun club songs – but it throws me off after I’ve been grooving to Donna Summer and KC & the Sunshine Band and Chic to suddenly be brought back to the 2010s.

If they didn’t call it Classic Disco Night, if they mixed up the eras and genres throughout the evening, that would be welcome. Seventies disco, eighties house, nineties alternative, aughts pop – take the best of each and mix ‘em up. I’ll leave when the sun comes up.

I’d love to DJ there. This way I can play the music that would keep me going all night.

Every Friday Tunes du Jour posts a slice of such playlists. Today’s slice kicks off with “Let’s Have a Kiki,” performed by Scissor Sisters, whose Ana Matronic turns 41 today.


Click here to like Tunes du Jour on Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists

It’s Robyn’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

Another New York Moment

    In those halcyon days before we thought about skin cancer, when David Dinkins was the mayor of New York City, Kathy and I would go to Central Park to tan. Usually we spread our towels on Sheep Meadow, among our fellow Manhattan sun worshippers, who were not sheep, at least not genealogically.

    One time Sheep Meadow was closed off, so we went to a nearby field to lay out. It was a smaller area, with only a handful of folks taking in the rays. Shortly after we covered ourselves in suntan oil, Kathy and I independently simultaneously peripherally noticed some motion nearby. A gender-discordant couple was enjoying each other’s company. Not in the same way Kathy and I were enjoying each other’s company. Their way was under a thin ratty blanket and involved thrusting. Looking around we saw that our fellow tanners saw what was happening and looked around at all the tanners to confirm their eyes were not deceiving them. It being New York City, nobody bothered them. Not the people there to tan, not the parents walking with their children along the path a few feet from the fornicators, not the NYPD. Live and let live. That’s how we did it in New York.

    They finished their activity and cleaned themselves up with the paper towels they had the foresight to bring with them. These were not amateurs. They were prepared. He probably was a boy scout many many years earlier.

    That was all well and good. However, a half hour later they started at it again. One time, no problem, but a second time? Now that’s rude! Nobody likes a show-off.

    “I’m near the meadow watching you boink her, oh ooh oh.” I didn’t write a song with that lyric that day, but let’s pretend I did, if only to make this segue less awkward.

    In 2010, Swedish singer Robyn released “Dancing on My Own,” which included the lyric “I’m in the corner watching you kiss her, oh ooh oh.” Her song was not about coitus in a Manhattan park. In the song she is stalking her ex, something I don’t recommend doing unless it’s on-line.

    Today Robyn turns 36 years old. As Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour, we’ll pepper our playlist with some of Robyn’s best, starting with “Dancing on My Own.” Everybody get down (though if you’re in a public park, get down only once per 24-hour period)!


    Click here to like Tunes du Jour on Facebook.
    Follow me on Twitter: @TunesDuJour

Leave a Comment

Filed under playlists