Ethel Merman disco

It’s Joe Strummer’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

Nineteen seventy-nine saw the release of The Ethel Merman Disco Album. That same year saw western music banned in Iran. If you heard that album you’d hail that decision. Six-and-a-half minutes of “Everything’s Coming up Roses” set to a dance beat was deemed too decadent and an insult to decent citizens. By order of the Prophet, they banned that boogie sound, as it degenerated the faithful.

Ethel Merman discoIt’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a sin!

While waiting for his bandmates to come to the studio to work on the album with the working title Rat Patrol from Fort Bragg, The Clash’s Topper Headon recorded a song he wrote. He played drums, piano and bass on the track. Per the group’s former associate and sometime manager Kosmo Vinyl, Headon accompanied his music with “very, very pornographic lyrics” about his girlfriend. The Prophet would not be happy.

Raga is a style of Indian classical music. Its performed pieces typically last for a half hour or longer. After a few days of hearing each song being worked on for the The Clash’s album lasting a minimum of six minutes, band manager Bernard Rhodes asked “Does everything have to be as long as a raga?” The question inspired the band’s Joe Strummer to write the lyric “The king told the boogie men ‘You have to let that raga drop.’” (NOTE: Joe Strummer did not compose the KC & the Sunshine Band hit “I’m Your Boogie Man.” Or did he???)

With that line as his starting point, Strummer replaced the original “pornographic” lyrics Headon wrote for his tune with ones inspired by Iran’s ban of disco music. In the song, once the Shareef is out of sight, the populace ignore the ban. Even the fighter pilots the Shareef brings in to drop bombs on the partying civilians turn up the music on their radios once he’s been chauffeured away. Western dance music? The Shareef don’t like it!

By the late 1990s the laws against western music had been relaxed in Iran, only to be reinstituted in 2005 by Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Ringo + The Clash
Though Ahmadinejad thinks it’s not kosher to boogie, we at Tunes du Jour think it’s treif to let Friday pass by without dancing. Our weekly dance playlist kicks off with The Clash’s “Rock the Casbah,” with lyrics by Joe Strummer, who was born on this day in 1952. By the way, the album from which the song is taken, released under the name Combat Rock, contains only one song longer than five minutes, the five-and-a-half minute long “Straight to Hell.” The king won.


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A Hint Of Mint – Volume 16: Madonna

Celebrate Madonna’s 57th birthday with this 20-song playlist of songs performed by Madonna, songs about Madonna, songs covered by Madonna, covers of songs made famous by Madonna, and songs sampled by Madonna.

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It’s Ana Matronic’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

“A kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves
We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve
And though the sun is rising, few may choose to leave”

It’s Friday and I need to dance, but you already know that.

I’ve always enjoyed going out clubbing, especially in the early nineties. Some Fridays and many Saturdays I’d go with whoever I was then dating or a good friend to The Roxy or The Limelight or Twilo (though Twilo may have come into being a few years into the nineties) or that club on Sixth Avenue around 15th Street whose name escapes me at the moment or that bar/club/fire hazard in the East Village or The Saint. In New York, the clubs didn’t close at 2 AM or 4 AM. They stayed open. There were times we wouldn’t leave until 8 or 9 the next morning. As that was breakfast time, we’d head for a diner (a “coffee shop” in the local parlance, before coffee shop meant a place like Starbucks) to eat before heading home to sleep. Watching people start their Sunday before we even finished our Saturday made me feel so alive. I’m here on this earth and taking advantage of it.

It’s been a long time since I stayed out all night. Though I cherish the memories, I can’t say I miss doing so. That may be because I haven’t hit upon a club that plays music I’d like to dance to for hours on end. The exception is Oil Can Harry’s, a dive in Studio City that hosts classic disco night on Saturdays. I love me some classic disco, and can stay there until closing if classic disco and post-disco 80s house was all that was played. For some reason, the DJ throws on Rihanna or other contemporary acts between midnight and 1. That’s my cue to leave. Nothing against Rihanna – she has many fun club songs – but it throws me off after I’ve been grooving to Donna Summer and KC & the Sunshine Band and Chic to suddenly be brought back to the 2010s.

If they didn’t call it Classic Disco Night, if they mixed up the eras and genres throughout the evening, that would be welcome. Seventies disco, eighties house, nineties alternative, aughts pop – take the best of each and mix ‘em up. I’ll leave when the sun comes up.

I’d love to DJ there. This way I can play the music that would keep me going all night.

Every Friday Tunes du Jour posts a slice of such playlists. Today’s slice kicks off with “Let’s Have a Kiki,” performed by Scissor Sisters, whose Ana Matronic turns 41 today.


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A Hint Of Mint – Volume 15: British Music Of The Eighties

Many gay, lesbian and bisexual artists emerged from the British pop music scene in the eighties. Some were out from the beginnings of their career and sang about gay lives; some created great songs and came out later on. Most of the artists on this playlist are L,G or B, while some are allies.

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It’s Friday And I Need To Dance!

While performing stand-up comedy in the late 1990s/early 2000s I appeared in several contests. More often than not I scored very well. In a contest at the club StandUp NY to find New York’s funniest gay man, I came in second. First place went to Seth Rudetsky. Around that same time both of us were entrants in another stand-up contest. Again, I came in second to Seth’s first.

Our acts were similar. Both of us were (are) thin New York gay Jews who mocked silly pop song lyrics in our sets. Seth talked about Sheena Easton’s “Morning Train” while I discussed Air Supply’s “All Out of Love.” I don’t begrudge him his first place winnings – he was great.

Seth went on to write for The Rosie O’Donnell Show, which garnered him several Emmy nominations. He has written for the Grammy Awards and the Tony Awards. He hosts a radio show on SiriusXM about Broadway musicals.

This past Tuesday my friend Scott and I attended Seth’s one-person show at Largo. His opening act was Judd Apatow. In the audience were Barbra Streisand, Sean Hayes, and the guy who played Valerie Cherish’s PR person on The Comeback. Also in the audience was me, the runner-up. Was I jealous? Was I bitter? You bet I was!

On the positive tip, I was inspired as well. It was a very fun show and gave me some ideas as to how to structure the one-person show I’ve been saying I will write for the past fourteen years. Destiny is calling me – open up my eager eyes, ‘cause I’m Mr. Brightside.

Our weekly dance party kicks off with The Killers.


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A Hint Of Mint – Volume 14: Friends

“Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’”
– Cookie Monster

This installment of A Hint of Mint features songs with “friend” or a variation thereof in the title. Artists include Tegan & Sara, Dusty Springfield and Queen.

A Hint of Mint – Volume 14: Friends from Glenn Schwartz on 8tracks Radio.

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Public Enemy: Don’t Tell Me That You Understand Until You Hear The Men

Today is the 55th birthday of Chuck D of the rap group Public Enemy. The ensemble have many fans. They also have their fair share of detractors. A large portion of the latter have never heard the group’s music, basing their dislike of the group from what they’ve learned about them through the white media, which painted them as anti-Semitic and homophobic.

Let’s examine these accusations.

About gay people, Chuck D (born Carlton Ridenhour, and let’s face it – Carlton is a terrible name for a rapper. It’s a good name for Rhoda’s doorman.) told music writer/critic Robert Christgau “I think they’re a little confused.” On its face that sounds offensive, but to be fair, he didn’t say we’re confused about our sexuality. I, for one, am confused about why someone would think they are heroic for killing a wounded lion. I know I’m not the only gay who feels this way. Lonnie, a gay at the Starbucks around the corner from my condo, agrees.

In the spring of 1988, Professor Griff, the group’s Minister of Information (What? Your band doesn’t have a Minister of Information?), told the UK press “There’s no place for gays. When God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, it was for that sort of behavior” and “If the Palestinians took up arms, went into Israel and killed all the Jews, it’d be alright.” A few months later Chuck defended Griff’s comments, telling Spin magazine “I back Griff. Whatever he says, he can prove.” He can prove there is no place for gays? Clearly he has never been to the Starbucks around the corner from my condo.

Griff later said he dared Jews to send “their faggot little hit men” after him and revealed how “the Jews finance these experiments on AIDS with black people in South Africa.” What a relief! I thought he was going to blame the gays for AIDS!

A 1989 story in the Washington Times quotes Griff as saying “’The Jews are wicked. And we can prove this.” He helpfully added that Jews are responsible for “the majority of wickedness that goes on across the globe.” All I can say in response to that is I hope that the dentist who killed the lion isn’t Jewish. Please don’t let him be Jewish!

To his credit, Public Enemy’s Chuck D swiftly kicked Griff out of the group (swiftly being a relative term, i.e. relative to how successful and popular the group had become since Griff made his comments the year prior). D then hired him back into the group seven weeks later, demoted to Supreme Allied Chief of Community Relations. (What? Your band doesn’t have a Supreme Allied Chief of Community Relations?) Griff rid himself of his anti-Semitic feelings in just seven weeks. That’s why he was put in charge of community relations.

Mr. D has also taken heat for being a follower of Louis Farrakhan, leader of the Nation of Islam. He rapped “Farrakhan’s a prophet and I think you ought to listen to what he can say to you” and “Don’t tell me that you understand until you hear the man.” Fair enough. Let’s hear him:

“The Jews don’t like Farrakhan, so they call me Hitler. Well, that’s a good name. Hitler was a very great man.” March 1984
“Murder and lying comes easy for white people.” February 1994
“Did you know that the Koran says that Jews are the most violent of people? I didn’t write it, but I’m living to see it.” February 2012
“They stole land in Palestine and this Synagogue of Satan knows that the end of their time of rule is up.” October 2010

I listened. I heard the man. I’m not sure I understand, but then again, I’m gay and therefore confused.

(By the way, for more of Reverend Farrakhan’s greatest anti-Semitic hits, go to the Anti-defamation League website. Then read how the Nation of Islam’s head said it was Jews responsible for the 9/11 attacks.)

In “Welcome to the Terrordome,” Chuck D raps “Crucifixion ain’t no fiction / So-called chosen frozen / Apologies made to whoever pleases / Still they got me like Jesus.” On behalf of the so-called chosen people, I accept this beautiful, heartfelt apology. It’s beautiful to see a man learn from his missteps. In return I’d like to say I’m sorry we killed Jesus.

In the group’s song “Meet the G That Killed Me,” Chuck D raps the classic homophobic line “Man to man, I don’t know if they can, from what I know, the parts don’t fit.” Work harder, Carlton. The parts will fit.

In “A Letter to the NY Post,” the group’s resident felon Flavor Flav (born William Drayton) rails against his domestic abuse arrest being reported by the titular newspaper. He raps “It only brings agony / Ask James Cagney / He beat up on a guy when he found he was a fagney / Cagney is a favorite / He is my boy.” A true poet, Flav is. I did an internet search and could not find any evidence of Cagney beating up any fagneys. So Flav likens making public his arrest for assaulting his girlfriend to James Cagney beating a fagney, considers Cagney a hero for beating up a fagney, and makes up the story of Cagney beating up a fagney. When asked about this lyric, Chuck D told Robert Christgau “Flavor doesn’t like homos.” Ah, thanks for clearing that up. I was confused, as homosexuals are, you know. By the way, since the NY Post printed the story that led Flav to write that song, he has been arrested for attempted murder, domestic violence, driving with a suspended license, driving without insurance, possession of marijuana, unlicensed operation of a vehicle, driving under the influence, speeding, assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and something having to do with cocaine. Though I’m upset this fine upstanding human being doesn’t like homos, as an olive branch form the gay community, I’m suggesting some rhymes for all the songs he needs to write about how his arrests keep being reported by the media: Emily Kagan/fagin, Sammy Hagar/fagar, Bilbo Baggins/faggins, Dolly Dagger/fagger, George Burns/fagurns, Marilyn Monroe/fagrow, Pagliacci/fagliacci. You’re welcome.

While speaking as the authority on who women of color should date, Chuck was quoted as saying “Homosexuality among brothers is another barrier cutting into the numbers [of men available for black women].” I have a solution – more black lesbians! Balance this shit out! You’re welcome.

Don’t try to get Chuck to elaborate on his views on gay people. Robert Christgau tried and was told by D, “Talking about homosexuality is almost like talking about Jews, you know, it’s a waste of my fucking time. I don’t spend much of my day talking about either.” True. He doesn’t spend much of his time talking about either. He succinctly says gays are confused and Jews are evil and then he moves on to whine about the group’s critics.

In 2003, Chuck D co-hosted a nationally-syndicated daily radio show alongside Lizz Winstead and Rachel Maddow. No Jews, but a big gay. Said D “[Rachel] steers the bus. Rachel is one of the best professional broadcasters I’ve worked with.” And so all is forgiven.

And now onto the music!


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It’s Friday And I Need To Dance!

There is a place near my home called the Zoom Room. They offer classes for dogs (and their owners). Obedience training, agility training, etc. I took my Ringo there for Shy Dog class. After five weekly sessions he was more confident and outgoing than when we started, and he has gotten much better at socializing since.

The Zoom Room also hosts Doggy Disco®. Per their website, these parties are for Bark Mitzvahs, pet commitment ceremonies and other special occasions.

They describe Doggy Disco thusly: Our Doggy Disco® pulsates with glamour, revolving mirrored ball, professional lighting effects and a great sound system with deliciously danceable tunes. A ceiling-mounted laser light show projects a dizzying array of colors and patterns on the floor, perfect for pooches to chase.

Why I haven’t gone yet is beyond me! I must do so soon. For now, my doggies and I will dance around the condo, for it is Friday, and Friday is dance day ‘round these parts.

Our weekly dance party kicks off with George Clinton’s “Atomic Dog.”


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A Hint Of Mint – Volume 13: The Rolling Stones

In this installment of A Hint of Mint, we’re celebrating Mick Jagger’s birthday with a Rolling Stones playlist. As 8tracks must limit the number of songs per artist, we’re including covers of Stones hits done by members of the LGBTQQI and SA populations.

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