The Other 45 Ways To Leave Your Lover

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In the album and 45 version of his #1 hit “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” Paul Simon gives five ways to accomplish this:
Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Hop on the bus, Gus
Drop of the key, Lee.

Here are the other 45 ways, from the very rare extended mix of the song:
1. Get on a bike, Mike
2. Pull out in a truck, Buck
3. Run off with Didi Conn, John
4. Hijack a sled, Ted
5. Jump in front of a train, Cain
6. Throw yourself on a bomb, Tom
7. Jump off a cliff, Biff
8. Crash in a plane, Dane
9. Take the Staten Island Ferry, Jerry
10. Blast off in the space shuttle, Tuttle
11. Play reindeer games, James
12. Be a slob, Rob
13. Swallow that pill, Will
14. Dig your own grave, Dave
15. Hitchhike, Mike (not the same Mike mentioned earlier)
16. Act like a dick, Rick
17. Act like a ho, Joe
18. Play smooth jazz, Chaz
19. Cross from your list her kiss, Chris
20. Choke on a slice of naan, Dan
21. Don’t answer her call, Paul
22. Send her a text, Rex(t)
23. Walk out the door, Dudley Moore
24. Come up with a scheme, Hakeem
25. Pull out your teeth, Keith
26. Run down the block, Barack
27. Don’t be a coward, Howard
28. Just leave, Steve
29. Tell her you’re gay, Ray
30. Go insane, Wayne
31. Chop off your feet, Pete*
32. Send a telegram, Cam
33. Fly off in a balloon, Augustus
34. Join a caravan, Dan
35. Be an adult and discuss the problems in the relationship and if either of you believe they cannot be reasonably worked out then go, Beau
36. Zoom away on a motorcycle, Michael (not to be confused with the two Mikes mentioned earlier)
37. Hide out on a barge, Sarge
38. Take a large ship, Pip
39. Paddle away in a kayak, person whose name rhymes with kayak
40. Just use some skis, Rhys
41. Take an escalator, Darth Vader
42. Use a drone, Mr. Cohn
43. Leave using wagons, Bilbo Baggins
44. Don’t be a putz, Lutz
45. Don’t try to rhyme, Leonid
*Be mindful that not having feet will make it difficult to leave.

Today Paul Simon turns 73. In his honor, government buildings are closed today. Today’s playlist is a mix of some of his hits plus lesser-known gems.

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