Travel Deals With Randy Newman And A Czech Hooker

Have I ever told you about the time I accidentally hired a prostitute? If I know you in real life, the answer is probably yes. It’s a good story, one to share each Thanksgiving with the whole family, even Little Timmy. For those with whom I haven’t eaten stuffing, I’ll briefly summarize what happened.

I was looking to book a trip to the Czech Republic. I found an amazing package deal on-line. For $999, I would get a seven night hotel stay, a few meals, plus my own personal tour guide to show me the sights. The site didn’t use the term “tour guide,” though. They said “escort.” My escort would pick me up from the airport, take me to my hotel, and then show me everything. I booked the trip, and after paying found out that the word escort means the same thing there that it does here. So I get a hotel room, some meals, and a hooker for the week, all for $999? What a deal!

I won’t get into all the details now, but suffice to say that after the Czech police shut down the “travel agency,” I had to find other accommodations, my promise of a Czech romance (I use the word romance very loosely) dashed.

In his song “Sail Away,” Randy Newman’s ship captain makes promises to those about to board his ship about what they will find when they arrive at their destination. He tells them of days spent singing, of being fed without having to hunt for the food or worry about dangerous animals. He leaves out the part that the Africans he is addressing will be slaves when they arrive in America.

Today Randy Newman turns 72 years old. Here are twenty of his best.


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Ringo + Lizards

It’s Black Friday And I Need To Dance!

What do people want more than anything else? Love, perhaps. When songwriter/Motown founder Berry Gordy, Jr. asked “What do people want most?,” his writing partner Janie Bradford answered “Money. That’s what I want.”

A song was born, a classic that became the first hit for Gordy’s Motown Records, with singer Barrett Strong taking “Money (That’s What I Want)” to #23 in 1960.

Ringo + Lizards
Twenty years after Strong hit with it, UK band The Flying Lizards took a cover of “Money” to #50 on the US pop chart. Their version also made the dance chart. It kicks off Tunes du Jour’s weekly dance party.


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A Hint Of Mint – Volume 29: AIDS

Some of these songs are celebratory. Some are somber. All are moving.

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Smoke A Cigar – Today Is Björk’s Birthday

“It’s a story about a love affair between a five year old girl, a secret and a man who lives next door. The song’s called ‘Birthday’ because it’s his fiftieth birthday, but not many people can figure that out of the lyrics ‘cos it’s more about the atmosphere around it and how they touch. It’s a tasteless pop song—not even that. A pop song—very unusual. I was always changing my mind about what the lyrics should be about. I had the atmosphere right from the start but not the facts. It finally ended up concentrating on this experience I remembered having as a little girl, among many other little girls’ experiences. It’s like huge men, about fifty or so, affect little girls very erotically but nothing happens . . . nothing is done, just this very strong feeling. I picked on this subject to show that anything can affect you erotically; material, a tree, anything.”
– Björk

When asked by a reader of The Guardian “what’s [sic] does the line ‘sows a bird in her knickers’ mean?”, Björk replied “Obviously it is about haberdashery … and embroidery of course ….”

Today is Björk’s 49th birthday. Here are twenty career highlights.


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It’s Q-Tip’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

Here’s the thing…I started writing today’s blog entry about mishaps I’ve recently encountered in on-line dating, specifically with an app I downloaded last week that despite my creating a profile that says I’m a man looking for a man, keeps trying to set me up with straight guys. I tied that into today’s birthday, Q-Tip from A Tribe Called Quest, by saying he’s one straight guy who wouldn’t date me. I quoted lyrics from Tribe’s song “Georgy Porgy.” While I was typing those lyrics, my stomach turned. I had trouble finding the humor in a song that refers to a gay guy as gross, ill, a fag, wounded, weak, a fucking faggot, and then some. The post started out funny but when I got to Q-Tip’s lyric “You can call me homophobic but I know it and you know it/ you’re filthy and funny to the utmost,” I decided I may be funny, but he isn’t, nor is he worth celebrating.

Odd that such a hateful bigot should appear on a record by Deee-Lite, a trio of gay and gay-friendly performers. Q-Tip appears on a lot of good records.

Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour. Today’s playlist doesn’t celebrate the loathsome Q-Tip, but rather twenty great club tracks, a few of which feature Q-Tip. I’ll fill you in on my dating app experiences later.


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Throwback Thursday – The Hits of 1984

Madonna debuted “Like a Virgin” with a performance on the MTV Video Music Awards in September 1984, weeks before the record was released. Watching her on television rolling around the floor in a wedding dress with a Boy Toy belt buckle, the song’s writers, Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg, thought “We’re doomed now. This is an embarrassment. This is never going to succeed.”

“Like a Virgin” spent six weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, her first single to top that chart.

Kelly and Steinberg didn’t meet Madonna until around five years later. At a party they saw her, and asked Steve Bray, who wrote Madonna’s hit “Into the Groove,” to introduce them.

Bray did so. “Madonna, I want you to meet Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly. They wrote ‘Like a Virgin.’”

Steinberg said “Oh Madonna, I’ve wanted to meet you for so long.”

Madonna replied “Well, now you did,” and walked away.

“Like a Virgin” kicks off this week’s Throwback Thursday playlist, spotlighting the hits of 1984.


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A Hint Of Mint – Volume 28: Guys Names

A fun playlist based on a silly premise – every song’s title is merely a guy’s first name. Artists include Goldfrapp, Christine and the Queens and Franz Ferdinand.

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Throwback Thursday – The Hits of 1995

This week’s Throwback Thursday playlist spotlights the hits of 1995, starting with TLC’s “Waterfalls,” a song that features backing vocals by Cee Lo Green.


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I’m Sticking With The Big Yellow Taxi

The definition of a Luddite is a person opposed to increased industrialization or new technology. At times I am that person.

If I need a ride somewhere and don’t have my own car at my disposal, I’ll take a taxi. I have a mistrust of Uber and Lyft. My feelings about the former were bolstered by all the news stories of Uber drivers sexually assaulting or kidnapping their passengers. I read most, maybe all, of these headlines on Gawker. Granted, when Gawker decides it doesn’t like someone or something, it posts a bunch of meaningless disparaging articles about that someone or something. Just ask Macklemore, James Franco or Woody Allen. Nonetheless, when one is starting with a negative impression of a service where any Joe Q. Public can act as a chauffeur without any skills or knowledge or abilities besides having a driver’s license, the association of that service with the words rape or threat or assault reinforce that impression.

I hadn’t read any stories about felonious Lyft drivers. My cousin who lives in San Francisco uses Lyft. She was in Los Angeles a couple of months back, while my car was in the shop. We had dinner and then she ordered a Lyft car to take her back to her hotel. The app said the driver would be at my home in two minutes. We went outside to wait. Wait we did. Two minutes. Four minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. My cousin checked the app, which has a map to show you how far away your driver is. Per the app, her driver was now fifteen minutes away. On the map it showed the driver at a motel located directly behind the building in which I live. We share a driveway with that motel. It was fifteen seconds away, if there was traffic. My cousin wished to cancel the ride, but Lyft charges you the fare if you cancel.

The incident supported my previously based on nothing in particular feelings about Lyft. Still, as my cousin used them in San Fran frequently with no issues, I gave them another shot.

My own car was ready to be picked up from the body shop. The shop is two and a half miles from my home. I would have walked there if it wasn’t 102 degrees outside. I downloaded the Lyft app and was greeted with the message that I’ll get a $5 credit for each of my first ten rides. I also got the message that being it was Monday, all rides are 50% off. By my math, traveling two and half miles would be free.

My driver showed up promptly. We went to the body shop. I asked her the fee. She said she had no idea – all charges are done via the app. I got the message while in the body shop that the ride would cost me around $8. Using a button on the app, I sent a message to Lyft’s customer service, asking if they applied the 50% off and $5 credit. Per the app, I should expect a reply within twenty-four hours.

I did not receive a reply within twenty-four hours. I did not receive a reply within forty-eight hours. The charge for the full fare went through. Because I paid using Google Wallet (I’m not 100% Luddite), I called Google to dispute the charge. I sent them copies of the messages in which Lyft offered me the $5 credit and the 50% off. I told Google how I already tried to work this out with Lyft but they ignored my message.

Google contacted Lyft, which got me a response from Lyft. They told me I was supposed to do something or another within the app in order to get these discounts and credits. I replied that nowhere in their text messages to me did it say I had to do anything special to take advantage of their offers. I also told them that as they disregarded my email to their customer service, I couldn’t have the matter resolved within their required time frame.

Ultimately, I got my credit for the trip. It wasn’t worth all the hassle. Next time, I’m going old school. A taxicab it will be. Sometimes I prefer being a Luddite. You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.

Today is the 72nd birthday of the great Joni Mitchell. Kicking off our Joni playlist is her 1970 single “Big Yellow Taxi.”


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