Reinterpretations of 30 songs I used to hear often on WABC-AM back in the 1970s.
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Nineteen eighty-two was a musical kaleidoscope. New wave, punk, rap, and pop collided in glorious ways, creating a year of iconic sounds that still resonate today. Synth-pop rose to prominence, rock anthems solidified their place in our hearts, and the pulsating beats of new wave and post-disco ruled dance floors and radio waves alike.
It was the year that brought us iconic songs and sounds that still resonate today, like Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love,” a synth-pop masterpiece, and The Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me,” a song so ingrained in our collective consciousness it practically begs to be sung along to. Both are emblematic of the New Wave movement that dominated the airwaves.
New Wave wasn’t the only game in town, though. Rock received a shot of adrenaline with Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock N’ Roll,” a fist-pumping reminder of the genre’s enduring power. Queen and David Bowie delivered the masterpiece “Under Pressure” – a testament to the power of collaboration (and maybe a metaphor for the year itself!). Meanwhile, Bruce Springsteen’s “Atlantic City” offered a poignant look at the working class experience.
The year also marked a significant moment for hip-hop with Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five’s “The Message,” a track that brought social consciousness to the forefront, laying down the reality of urban life with a beat that demanded attention.
Laurie Anderson’s “O Superman” experimented with spoken word and electronic sounds, a heady trip that felt like a message from the future. Afrika Bambaataa’s “Planet Rock” introduced audiences to the future of electro-funk. On the other end of the spectrum, “I’ve Never Been to Me” by Charlene… well, let’s just say it was a unique contribution to the musical landscape.
The Jam’s “A Town Called Malice” captured the youthful angst of British punk, while Madness’ “House of Fun” and Depeche Mode’s “Just Can’t Get Enough” offered a quirky new wave charm.
Pop had its share of fun too. Who can forget The J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold?” There was also the infectious “Jack & Diane” by John Cougar, a little ditty about young love in a small town. The Go-Go’s “We Got the Beat” declared female empowerment with a pop-rock punch, while Stray Cats’ “Rock This Town” brought rockabilly back into the mainstream. Even bubblegum pop got a look-in with Bow Wow Wow’s sugary sweet “I Want Candy.”
Nineteen eighty-two was a year where music embraced the weird, the wonderful, and everything in between. So crank up the volume, dig out your leg warmers (optional), and let this playlist take you back to a time when music wasn’t afraid to experiment and have a whole lot of fun.
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Inspired by the July 3 birthdays of Erasure’s/Yaz’s Vince Clarke, Laura Branigan, Heatwave’s Johnny Wilder Jr., Elle King, Fontella Bass, Johnny Lee, Betty Buckley and The Seekers’ Judith Durham, and the July 2 birthdays of The Temptations’ Paul Williams, Vince Staples, Justice’s Xavier de Rosnay, Monie Love, Saweetie, Burna Boy and Michelle Branch.
As a songwriter, Gloria Jones charted with Gladys Knight & the Pips’ “If I Were Your Woman,” the Four Tops’ “Just Seven Numbers (Can Straighten Out My Life),” and Marvin Gaye and Diana Ross’ “My Mistake (Was to Love You).” As a producer, Gloria Jones hit the top ten on the disco chart with Gonzalez’s “Haven’t Stopped Dancing Yet.” But as a lead singer, Jones failed to make the pop, r&b or dance charts.
In 1973, while on a trip to the United States, British DJ Richard Searling purchased a copy of a Gloria Jones single from 1965. The A-side was a song called “My Bad Boy’s Comin’ Home,” but it was the B-side that really got Searling’s attention.
Northern soul music (uptempo American soul music in a sixties Motown vein yet without commercial success) had a large cult following in the northern England at that time, and Searling played the Gloria Jones b-side during his sets.
Northern soul fan David Ball loved the song. When he and his musical partner, Mark Almond, who together comprised the duo Soft Cell, were looking for a song to cover, they went with the Jones song, thinking it would be interesting for a synth band to cover a soul tune. Their record label asked them to add guitar, bass and drums to the track, but the duo refused. Despite this, the label put out the singer. Almond told Rolling Stone magazine “We thought if we were really lucky, we’d scrape into the top 75 in Britain. We didn’t think anything would happen over here [in the US].”
Soft Cell’s recording of “Tainted Love” became a smash worldwide. In the US, it spent 43 weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100, a record at that time. Said Gloria Jones of the Soft Cell recording “Their version was far better than mine.”
This week, Tunes du Jour celebrates Throwback Thursday with twenty great tunes from 1982, kicking off with Soft Cell’s version of “Tainted Love,” but first, check out Gloria Jones’ original:
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Who is Umberto Tozzi? Is that what you just asked?
Born in Italy in 1952, Umberto Tozzi is a singer-songwriter who has sold over 70 million records throughout the world. In 1979 he released a single of his composition “Gloria,” which became a big hit in his home country, remaining in the top ten for 16 weeks, six of those at #2. The song also went top ten in Germany, France, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium, South Africa and Spain.
In 1982, singer Laura Branigan collaborated with Trevor Veitch on English-language lyrics set to the original’s melody. Her recording of “Gloria,” co-produced by Greg Mathieson, arranger and keyboardist on the Tozzi version, reached #2 on the Billboard Hot 100.
Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour. Our weekly party kicks off with the track for which Umberto Tozzi is best-known in the United States.
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Around ten years ago I took up boxing. Not as a career, but as a form of exercise. I’d never watched a match on TV – too violent for my tastes. The idea to give it a try came from my trainer at Crunch Gym. Not my first trainer – he seldom showed up for our appointments. Not my second trainer, an asshole who ignored Crunch’s slogan “No judgments” and mocked my appearance throughout our sessions, while bragging about how he once made a female client of his cry. It was the idea of my third trainer at Crunch, the actor who often called me as I was five minutes from the gym to tell me he won’t make our session as he was still at an audition. Yes, that trainer. He showed up for our appointments around 60% of the time, which was better than my first Crunch trainer. He introduced me to boxing. I learned the upper cut, the cross, the jab, the duck, some other thing that involved me not getting punched in the face, and kicks. It was great exercise, especially on those days when I came to Crunch after a frustrating day at work. I’d punch that bag like I was seeing the face of one of the assholes with whom I worked. It got out the tension and got me into great physical shape.
I dumped that trainer once I decided a 60% show-up-for-your-job rate was inadequate for my aggression-releasing needs. I continued sparring with the fourth trainer Crunch assigned me, that is when he wasn’t flirting with the female clientele or taking weights from the floor and stuffing them in his duffle bag so as to build up his home gym.
When it came renewal time I left Crunch and their lot of unprofessional trainers and signed up at 24-Hour Fitness. Though it is literally a few steps from my home, I didn’t go to the location in West Hollywood, whose equipment, like its clientele, was old and decrepit. I went to the Hollywood location, where I was assigned a trainer who was so good, we worked out together for a few years. He introduced me to that hot actor who I later saw as a defendant on Judge Judy. He won his case. A few years later the West Hollywood location of 24-Hour Fitness closed for three and a half months. It reopened with fresh new equipment and fresh new customers, though oddly, it still was not open 24 hours, at least not in a single day.
Unfortunately, there was no boxing at 24-Hour Fitness. While at a local smoothie ship I saw a business card for a boxing coach who did private training at his home. He converted his unattached garage (is that the right word – unattached? I mean detached, right? Either way, you get my drift – his garage was not attached to his house.) into a boxing ring. He used to be a professional boxer and was a model as well. Our sessions were great, and not just because he’d say goodbye to me each week with a kiss on the lips, his heterosexuality be damned. Once he kissed me on the neck. Why did I stop seeing him? No recuerdo. Maybe it had something to do with a mental ward.
I’ve had one or two trainers and taken some boxing classes since then, but they weren’t as much fun. Something was missing, besides the kisses. Still, if one were to put me in a boxing ring today with Barbra Streisand, I think I could take her down. It’s not that I have a desire to punch Barbra Streisand, nor do we have a bout on the books. I’m saying this as a poor segue into mentioning her 1979 film The Main Event, in which she portrayed a boxer manager/perfume magnate.
The film re-teamed Barbra Streisand with Ryan O’Neal, seven years after their film What’s Up, Doc? What’s Up, Doc? is a great movie. If you haven’t seen it, I strongly suggest you do, even if you’re not a fan of Barbra Streisand. Especially if you’re not a fan of Barbra Streisand. You’ll see a whole other side of her in this movie. Ryan O’Neal is great. Madeline Kahn made her feature film debut in this movie. How can you go wrong with Madeline Kahn? Austin Pendleton is in it. Kenneth Mars is in it. A lot of people are in it. I think I’ll host a viewing of it at my condo. Let me know if you’re around and interested. You should be interested.
I never saw The Main Event. Critics panned it, but the public enjoyed it. I have the soundtrack album, which includes the hit single “The Main Event/Fight.” Three times – the 45 mix, the 12-inch mix, and as a ballad. The latter is solely the song “The Main Event.” “The Main Event/Fight” is a medley. “The Main Event” was written by Paul Jabara, whose writing credits also include Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” and The Weather Girls’ “It’s Raining Men” (on a side note, does anybody know if Chaka Khan is okay?) and Bruce Roberts, whose writing credits also include Laura Branigan’s “The Lucky One” and that Jeffrey Osborne song that goes “Can you woo woo woo?”. “Fight” was written by Jabara and Bob Esty. Esty’s writing credits also include Cher’s “Take Me Home.”
“The Main Event/Fight” is, with the Donna Summer duet “No More Tears (Enough is Enough),” my favorite Barbra Streisand single. I like my boxing coaches kissy and my Barbra Streisand songs peppy.
Today Barbra Streisand turns 73 years old. “The Main Event/Fight” kicks off Tunes du Jour’s weekly dance party.
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On the Facebook page for my thirty-year college reunion, which is coming up this June, someone brought up the music that reminds them of our college days. Many posts followed, naming songs that remind us of shared experiences at Brandeis University in the first half of the 1980s.
That post inspired today’s playlist. Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour, and today I present 50 songs we danced to in the Usdan Ballroom at Brandeis University between the fall of 1981 and the spring of 1985. It was a great time for popular music. These songs have stood the test of time.
Have a great weekend!
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Much has been written about “reparative therapy,” procedures that attempt to turn gay people straight. There is a growing movement to ban the practice. But what about the reverse conversion therapy?
Leading sociologists such as Anita Bryant have long claimed that gay people recruit straight people into the homosexual lifestyle, a way of living that de-emphasizes sports, prayer and vaginas and instead focuses on appearance, hygiene and brunch. Recently de-classified documents show that there may be truth to this.
In 1984, three scientists – Mike Stock, Matt Aitken and Pete Waterman – wanted to see if they can convert millions of heterosexual men to homosexuals. Recognizing that doing this conversion one man at a time would be a time-consuming endeavor, they came up with a way to convert large swaths of men simultaneously. They did this through music.
Their experiment was a smashing success. They produced records that turned any man listening gay and any woman listening to a “fag hag.” Their hits include Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record),” Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” and Bananarama’s “Venus.” Have you ever heard any of these songs? Have you ever had brunch? Coinkidink?
Professor Nicolai Баграмя́н teaches Psychological Environmental Neurological Intertwined Studies at Moscow University. His extensive research brought the effects of Stock, Aitken and Waterman’s work to light. “Many factors contribute toward giving a man a homosexual disposition. An alcoholic parent, attending boarding school, listening to Kylie Minogue sing ‘The Loco-motion.’ Gurl.”
Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” has the power to turn dogs gay.
SAW sold 40 million records. In their home country of the United Kingdom they landed over 100 top 40 singles. If you’re an American and you’ve always wondered why every British man you meet seems gay, now you know why. They are.
The trio’s scientific formula also had an effect on the acts they produced. Kylie Minogue went from Australian soap opera star to gay icon. Samantha Fox went from being a nice teenage girl whose topless photos, taken by her father, appeared in British newspapers to being one-half of a same-sex marriage. Pete Burns of Dead or Alive has yet to be an L, but he has variously been a G, B or T. Divine became more divine.
SAW produced UK top ten hits for such unforgettable performers as Hazell Dean, Princess, Phil Fearon, Pepsi & Shirlie, Sinitta, Jason Donovan, Pat & Mick, and Brother Beyond. Emboldened by their success, in 1989 the trio tried their hand at producing someone talented. The result was Donna Summer’s first US top ten single in six years, “This Time I Know It’s For Real.” America was gayer.
Their work now done, the trio split up their partnership. In 1994, Stock and Aitken reunited for one more experiment – to up the gay factor of Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” This resulted in a worldwide top ten single for the inimitable Nicki French, who went on to perform at Gay Pride events around the globe.
Per Dr. Баграмя́н, during the ten years between 1984 and 1994 Stock, Aitken and Waterman are responsible for making 577.1 million men around the world gay, thus increasing the popularity of mimosas.
The pop charts have been less gay over the last twenty years, due to a variety of factors (lawsuits, government intervention, Hinder). Today Tunes du Jour celebrates the birthday of Mike Stock and salutes his groundbreaking work in gay recruitment. Listen to this playlist of twenty of his records and be transformed. See you Sunday at The Abbey.
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Click here to learn more about reparative therapy.